Fun with Evolution

Intelligent Design, Schmintelligent Design....

With the Christmas Crunch upon us, who has time for cockamamied and fanciful religion-based creation tales?!? Evidence of scientifically-supported Darwinism is all around us; all we have to do is open our eyes!

On a recent Saturday afternoon in Dallas, Texas, while shopping for gifts for loved ones, a local resident snapped these grainy photos of what appears to be a homo erectus (or possibly homo neandertalensis) tooling around town, performing normal, ho-hum Saturday afternoon tasks.

The entire Dallas scientific community (1 SMU archaeology professor from New York) and local religious leaders (thousands of middle-aged white men from Collin County) are up in arms over this discovery, and are racing to either prove or disprove the authenticity of the photographs in question.

However, it is rumored that all one has to do to glimpse this Missing Evolutionary Link is visit SuperTarget on Skillman and Abrams, or Starbucks on Knox Street, where Monkeyman reportedly holds court every weekend...

"Nice melons, baby.... how'd you feel about a little 'monkey business' (nudge nudge wink wink)?!!"

"...Personally, I find King Kong offensive. Tarzan, on the other hand, now that's a classic!!"

"Hanes--Above the Calf. These are the only kind that comfortably fit my opposable big toe..."

The female Homo neandertalensis in action.

"...Move it, pal, or I'm gonna go ape sh*t on your ass!!"

How could I have forgotten- the one indisputable piece of evidence to support the Theory of Evolution, the Missing Link himself: Pat Ewing?!?