Dallasaurus

Apparently, some geek found a fossilized dinosaur skeleton while digging around at a construction site in Cedar Hill. This particular dinosaur had never been seen before, and has been named "Dallasaurus."

In case you don't believe in dinosaurs, here's the story link.

They named it "Dallasaurus" not because it was found in south Dallas (which would have been a good enough reason), but rather because of all the tell-tale signs of Dallas-ness that the fossil purportedly revealed:

Some scientists are guessing that the remains are of a female, partly due to fossilized, out-of-proportion breast implants found at the scene. A further inspection of the bones also revealed that the lady lizard wore too much makeup, over-bleached her hair, and had an eating disorder.
It is not yet known if $800 Manolos and a $1500 Louis handbag were found in the vicinity...

Paleontologists are at odds, however, because some believe the Dallasaurus was a male. They believe this because the dinosaur was White, drove a BMW, traveled in packs of three or four, drank RedBull and vodkas, and wore untucked light-blue button-down shirts with overpriced designer jeans. The male Dallasaurus also (evidently) made only $37,000 a year, yet lived in a well-furnished Uptown highrise and spent 6 nights a week carousing at Primo's with underage female dinosaurs he met while trolling SMU.

Though scientists cannot come to a consensus as to the gender of this Dallasaurus, they do all agree that this dinosaur--after marrying an equally blond Dallasaurus of the opposite sex--immediately bought an SUV, moved to Colleyville, and hired some mexican Dallasauruses to do their yard work.

For another version of Dallasaurus, click right here!